《四級(jí)寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)》課件

四級(jí)寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)及范文點(diǎn)評(píng)2009.4.15四級(jí)寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)及范文點(diǎn)評(píng)2009.4.151作文題目：“WomenintheModernWorld”提綱：

1.Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday2.Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women’spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.3.Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.

作文題目：“WomenintheModernWor2Longage,womenonlydidsomethinginthekitchenorathome.Nowmanyofthemhaveseriousjobstoserveforpeople.Whatmencandosocanwomen.

Todayinthefamily,thewifeoftenlotsherhusbandtodosomethingathomebatago,onlywomendidsomething.Menarefonedofdoingsomethingathome.

Sometimes,thematter,thehusbandhittinghaswelf,oftenhappened.Inthefactorythewomentoasmuchasthemen,buttheyarepaidlessthanthemen.Somepeoplehavenotcompletelyrealizedtheliberationofwomen.

Longage,womenonlydidsomet3Intoday,manywomenhaveawork.Theyworkedaswellasmenplayinganimportantpartinfactories.Therearemanywomeningovernmentalso.Theyleadotherpeoplecountry,andmakeoutplans.Therearemanyscientistalso.Theyeventnewthingstoimproveourlife.

Inancient,women’spositioninfamilyispity.Theyhadtolooksaftertheirchildren,dideveryhowhusbandorderedhertodo.Butnowitischanged.Theyareequaltoherhusband.Theyhavetherightofspeakingofidea,discussionthingwithherhusband,dowhatshewantstodo.

Wealsoshouldrealize,women’libertyarelimited.Forexample,manyfactorieswantmenbecomeitsworkersbutthechanceofwomenislessthanmen.Everyoneshoulddotheirbesttochangethiscondition.I’msure,theliberationofwomenwouldbeincreased.

Intoday,manywomenhaveawo4ManyWomentodayareplayinganimportantpartatworksthatwasthoughtonlycouldbedonebythemenbefore.Foranexample.Somewomenarenotsecretaryintheoffice,instead,theybecomemanagerofacompany.

Intheworldtoday,moreandmorewomenhavetheirownjob.Theygettheirownsalary,andbecomemoreindependentfromtheirhusband.Withtheeconomicsituationimproved,theirfamilypositionisimproving.

Manyhusbandsonlywanthiswifetostayathome,anddohouseworksordosomeshopping.Theyonlywanttheirwifetobeahousewife,butnotamanagerofacompany.

ManyWomentodayareplayinga5Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday.Moreandmorewomengotoworktoearnmoneyinsteadofkeepingthehouseorlookingafterthechildren.Womenhaveenteredmanyfieldsofsocietyincludingscientificfield.Asweknow,manywomensportsteamshavewontheworld’schampionssuchasChinesewomen’sVolleyballTeam.Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women’spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.Husbandsarenotthemastersofwivesinmanyplaces.Husbandsandwivesareequalnow.Theyjointogethertoovercomedifficultiesandsharehappiness.Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.Alsoinsomeplaces,womenareconsideredbeing“thing”belongtomen.Theyhavelittlechancetofindjobs.Theydon’tgetequalpayforequaljob.Thisisaproblemmustbesolvednotonlybysocietybutalsobywomenthemselves.Womenareplayinganincreasin6Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday.InManycountries,moreandmorewomenareactingasworkers,farmers,scientistsandevenleaders.Wecansaythatalmostalljobswhichmencandoaredoneperfectlybywomen.Womenarenolongerlookeddownuponbysociety.Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women’spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.Husbandandwifearenowequalinthefamily.Theycopewithproblemsofdailylifetogether,andsharehappinesswitheachother.Also,youcanhardlyfindoutthatintoday’sfamilies,womenarebeingbusywithdinners,whereasmencomfortablysittinginarmchairs,readingnewspapers.Womenareplayinganincreasin7Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.Anumberofmenstilljealouslyguardtheirrights,andregardwomenasincapablecreature.Fewwomenareallowedtoattendimportantinternationalmeetingsdominatedbymen.That’sreallytheproblemsweshouldsolveimmediately.Inspiteofthesechanges,th8寫(xiě)作注意事項(xiàng)1．大家拿到作文題目之后，先要仔細(xì)閱讀題目。最近幾年的四級(jí)作文一般都是小論文，并給出英文標(biāo)題和三條中文提綱。考生應(yīng)該按照小論文的結(jié)構(gòu)及提綱內(nèi)容進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作。一般可以提前至少5分鐘拿到寫(xiě)作題，這時(shí)候可以在心里構(gòu)思作文結(jié)構(gòu)，想出大致要寫(xiě)的內(nèi)容。寫(xiě)作注意事項(xiàng)1．大家拿到作文題目之后，先要仔細(xì)閱讀題目。最92．開(kāi)始寫(xiě)作文時(shí)一定要段落清楚，有明顯的開(kāi)頭，主體和結(jié)論部分。也就是大家要學(xué)會(huì)分段落，。同時(shí)在文章寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中，一定要學(xué)會(huì)使用一些句子之間以及引起和結(jié)束文章時(shí)候的連接詞（如表轉(zhuǎn)折、遞進(jìn)、因果等），這樣的話可以使文章很自然，流暢。一定要有開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾，并且將開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾寫(xiě)漂亮。每段的起始句都要寫(xiě)好。2．開(kāi)始寫(xiě)作文時(shí)一定要段落清楚，有明顯的開(kāi)頭，主體和結(jié)論部10寫(xiě)文章時(shí)候可以適當(dāng)用一些新穎一點(diǎn)的詞匯，這樣可以給文章增加亮點(diǎn)。適當(dāng)用稍微復(fù)雜一點(diǎn)的句型，如定語(yǔ)從句、強(qiáng)調(diào)句、倒裝句、并列結(jié)構(gòu)、名詞性從句、獨(dú)立成分等。但要保證句子正確的基礎(chǔ)上使用。不要用自己不明確和不會(huì)拼寫(xiě)的詞，還有一定要確保句子的正確性，盡量避免語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)的錯(cuò)誤?？梢赃m當(dāng)背一些好的表達(dá)和句型。基礎(chǔ)差一點(diǎn)的同學(xué)可以多套用；基礎(chǔ)好的同學(xué)可以少用。寫(xiě)文章時(shí)候可以適當(dāng)用一些新穎一點(diǎn)的詞匯，這樣可以給文章增加11注意文章的長(zhǎng)度安排，文章寧可長(zhǎng)，不可短。也不要太長(zhǎng)，以免犯太多錯(cuò)誤。卷面一定要整潔，字一定要寫(xiě)的干凈工整，印象分?jǐn)?shù)幾乎全部是這個(gè)決定的，所以大家也要主要平時(shí)handwriting的練習(xí)。我閱卷的時(shí)候看到字跡不清楚的就大概打個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)。注意文章的長(zhǎng)度安排，文章寧可長(zhǎng)，不可短。也不要太長(zhǎng)，以免犯太12（2分段）東方教育點(diǎn)評(píng)：條理不清，思路紊亂，大部分句子均有錯(cuò)誤，有的甚至影響理解。

具體問(wèn)題剖析：(1)缺乏邏輯，東一句西一句，沒(méi)有圍繞中心論述，如第一段就沒(méi)有展開(kāi)論述婦女社會(huì)角色的轉(zhuǎn)變，說(shuō)得太籠統(tǒng)而缺乏說(shuō)服力。

（2）用漢語(yǔ)思維，句子有明顯的漢語(yǔ)痕跡，如“Whatmencandosocanwomen.”，應(yīng)改為“Womencandowhatmencando”。

（3）銜接不自然，沒(méi)有用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞，如“Sometimes,thematter,thehusbandhittinghaswelf,oftenhappened”，應(yīng)改為“Thecasethathusbandhitshiswifeoftenhappens.”

（4）拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤很多，大部分句子均有錯(cuò)誤。

《四級(jí)寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)》課件13（5分段）東方教育點(diǎn)評(píng)：基本切題。但表達(dá)思想不清楚，連貫性差。有較多的嚴(yán)重語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤。

具體問(wèn)題剖析：（1）各段圍繞中心句論述不深入，沒(méi)有說(shuō)服力。

（2）銜接不自然，沒(méi)有用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞，如第一段幾個(gè)句子之間可以用一些“besides”、“ontheotherhand”、“furthermore”、“inaddition”等。

（3）語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤較多，很多句子不通順，如“Intoday,manywomenhaveawork.”應(yīng)改為“Today,manywomengetajob.”(濫用介詞)；“Inancient,women’spositioninfamilyispity”中pity應(yīng)改為pitiful（詞形誤用）；“Theyhadtolooksaftertheirchildren,dideveryhowhusbandorderedhertodo.”中every改為everything，how改為what（代詞錯(cuò)誤）；“Theyhavetherightofspeakingofidea,discussionthingwithherhusband,dowhatshewantstodo.”應(yīng)改為“Theyhavetherighttoexpressideas,discussthingswiththeirrespectivehusband,anddowhattheywantto.”(人稱代詞前后不一致)。

（5分段）14（8分段）東方教育點(diǎn)評(píng)：基本切題。有些地方表達(dá)思想不夠清楚，文字勉強(qiáng)連貫；語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤相當(dāng)多，其中有一些是嚴(yán)重錯(cuò)誤。

具體問(wèn)題剖析：（1）論證不夠深入，缺少事例，缺少說(shuō)服力。

（2）文字缺連貫、且顯累贅，如第二段可以把各句再改得簡(jiǎn)練一點(diǎn)并且有適當(dāng)?shù)霓D(zhuǎn)承詞。（3）語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤相當(dāng)多，如“Foranexample”，“Somewomenarenotsecretaryintheoffice,instead,theybecomemanagerofacompany.”應(yīng)改為“Somewomenareonlongersecretariesintheoffice,instead,theybecomemanagersofthecompanies.”（單復(fù)數(shù)）（8分段）15（11分段）東方教育點(diǎn)評(píng)：切題。表達(dá)思想清楚，文字連貫，用詞比較準(zhǔn)確，但有少量語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤，如“Alsoinsomeplaces.Womenareconsideredbeing“thing”belongtomen”，應(yīng)改為“Alsoinsomeplaces，womenareconsideredbeingthe“things”thatbelongtomen”（11分段）16（14分段）東方教育點(diǎn)評(píng)：切題。論證充分，有說(shuō)服力，論證手段豐富（舉例、正反）表達(dá)思想清楚，語(yǔ)言流暢，詞匯豐富，連貫性好。用詞準(zhǔn)確，僅有個(gè)別小錯(cuò)誤。（14分段）17四級(jí)寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)及范文點(diǎn)評(píng)2009.4.15四級(jí)寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)及范文點(diǎn)評(píng)2009.4.1518作文題目：“WomenintheModernWorld”提綱：

1.Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday2.Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women’spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.3.Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.

作文題目：“WomenintheModernWor19Longage,womenonlydidsomethinginthekitchenorathome.Nowmanyofthemhaveseriousjobstoserveforpeople.Whatmencandosocanwomen.

Todayinthefamily,thewifeoftenlotsherhusbandtodosomethingathomebatago,onlywomendidsomething.Menarefonedofdoingsomethingathome.

Sometimes,thematter,thehusbandhittinghaswelf,oftenhappened.Inthefactorythewomentoasmuchasthemen,buttheyarepaidlessthanthemen.Somepeoplehavenotcompletelyrealizedtheliberationofwomen.

Longage,womenonlydidsomet20Intoday,manywomenhaveawork.Theyworkedaswellasmenplayinganimportantpartinfactories.Therearemanywomeningovernmentalso.Theyleadotherpeoplecountry,andmakeoutplans.Therearemanyscientistalso.Theyeventnewthingstoimproveourlife.

Inancient,women’spositioninfamilyispity.Theyhadtolooksaftertheirchildren,dideveryhowhusbandorderedhertodo.Butnowitischanged.Theyareequaltoherhusband.Theyhavetherightofspeakingofidea,discussionthingwithherhusband,dowhatshewantstodo.

Wealsoshouldrealize,women’libertyarelimited.Forexample,manyfactorieswantmenbecomeitsworkersbutthechanceofwomenislessthanmen.Everyoneshoulddotheirbesttochangethiscondition.I’msure,theliberationofwomenwouldbeincreased.

Intoday,manywomenhaveawo21ManyWomentodayareplayinganimportantpartatworksthatwasthoughtonlycouldbedonebythemenbefore.Foranexample.Somewomenarenotsecretaryintheoffice,instead,theybecomemanagerofacompany.

Intheworldtoday,moreandmorewomenhavetheirownjob.Theygettheirownsalary,andbecomemoreindependentfromtheirhusband.Withtheeconomicsituationimproved,theirfamilypositionisimproving.

Manyhusbandsonlywanthiswifetostayathome,anddohouseworksordosomeshopping.Theyonlywanttheirwifetobeahousewife,butnotamanagerofacompany.

ManyWomentodayareplayinga22Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday.Moreandmorewomengotoworktoearnmoneyinsteadofkeepingthehouseorlookingafterthechildren.Womenhaveenteredmanyfieldsofsocietyincludingscientificfield.Asweknow,manywomensportsteamshavewontheworld’schampionssuchasChinesewomen’sVolleyballTeam.Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women’spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.Husbandsarenotthemastersofwivesinmanyplaces.Husbandsandwivesareequalnow.Theyjointogethertoovercomedifficultiesandsharehappiness.Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.Alsoinsomeplaces,womenareconsideredbeing“thing”belongtomen.Theyhavelittlechancetofindjobs.Theydon’tgetequalpayforequaljob.Thisisaproblemmustbesolvednotonlybysocietybutalsobywomenthemselves.Womenareplayinganincreasin23Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday.InManycountries,moreandmorewomenareactingasworkers,farmers,scientistsandevenleaders.Wecansaythatalmostalljobswhichmencandoaredoneperfectlybywomen.Womenarenolongerlookeddownuponbysociety.Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women’spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.Husbandandwifearenowequalinthefamily.Theycopewithproblemsofdailylifetogether,andsharehappinesswitheachother.Also,youcanhardlyfindoutthatintoday’sfamilies,womenarebeingbusywithdinners,whereasmencomfortablysittinginarmchairs,readingnewspapers.Womenareplayinganincreasin24Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.Anumberofmenstilljealouslyguardtheirrights,andregardwomenasincapablecreature.Fewwomenareallowedtoattendimportantinternationalmeetingsdominatedbymen.That’sreallytheproblemsweshouldsolveimmediately.Inspiteofthesechanges,th25寫(xiě)作注意事項(xiàng)1．大家拿到作文題目之后，先要仔細(xì)閱讀題目。最近幾年的四級(jí)作文一般都是小論文，并給出英文標(biāo)題和三條中文提綱?？忌鷳?yīng)該按照小論文的結(jié)構(gòu)及提綱內(nèi)容進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作。一般可以提前至少5分鐘拿到寫(xiě)作題，這時(shí)候可以在心里構(gòu)思作文結(jié)構(gòu)，想出大致要寫(xiě)的內(nèi)容。寫(xiě)作注意事項(xiàng)1．大家拿到作文題目之后，先要仔細(xì)閱讀題目。最262．開(kāi)始寫(xiě)作文時(shí)一定要段落清楚，有明顯的開(kāi)頭，主體和結(jié)論部分。也就是大家要學(xué)會(huì)分段落，。同時(shí)在文章寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中，一定要學(xué)會(huì)使用一些句子之間以及引起和結(jié)束文章時(shí)候的連接詞（如表轉(zhuǎn)折、遞進(jìn)、因果等），這樣的話可以使文章很自然，流暢。一定要有開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾，并且將開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾寫(xiě)漂亮。每段的起始句都要寫(xiě)好。2．開(kāi)始寫(xiě)作文時(shí)一定要段落清楚，有明顯的開(kāi)頭，主體和結(jié)論部27寫(xiě)文章時(shí)候可以適當(dāng)用一些新穎一點(diǎn)的詞匯，這樣可以給文章增加亮點(diǎn)。適當(dāng)用稍微復(fù)雜一點(diǎn)的句型，如定語(yǔ)從句、強(qiáng)調(diào)句、倒裝句、并列結(jié)構(gòu)、名詞性從句、獨(dú)立成分等。但要保證句子正確的基礎(chǔ)上使用。不要用自己不明確和不會(huì)拼寫(xiě)的詞，還有一定要確保句子的正確性，盡量避免語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)的錯(cuò)誤。可以適當(dāng)背一些好的表達(dá)和句型?；A(chǔ)差一點(diǎn)的同學(xué)可以多套用；基礎(chǔ)好的同學(xué)可以少用。寫(xiě)文章時(shí)候可以適當(dāng)用一些新穎一點(diǎn)的詞匯，這樣可以給文章增加28注意文章的長(zhǎng)度安排，文章寧可長(zhǎng)，不可短。也不要太長(zhǎng)，以免犯太多錯(cuò)誤。卷面一定要整潔，字一定要寫(xiě)的干凈工整，印象分?jǐn)?shù)幾乎全部是這個(gè)決定的，所以大家也要主要平時(shí)handwriting的練習(xí)。我閱卷的時(shí)候看到字跡不清楚的就大概打個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)。注意文章的長(zhǎng)度安排，文章寧可長(zhǎng)，不可短。也不要太長(zhǎng)，以免犯太29（2分段）東方教育點(diǎn)評(píng)：條理不清，思路紊亂，大部分句子均有錯(cuò)誤，有的甚至影響理解。

具體問(wèn)題剖析：(1)缺乏邏輯，東一句西一句，沒(méi)有圍繞中心論述，如第一段就沒(méi)有展開(kāi)論述婦女社會(huì)角色的轉(zhuǎn)變，說(shuō)得太籠統(tǒng)而缺乏說(shuō)服力。

（2）用漢語(yǔ)思維，句子有明顯的漢語(yǔ)痕跡，如“Whatmencandosocanwomen.”，應(yīng)改為“Womencandowhatmencando”。

（3）銜接不自然，沒(méi)有用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞，如“Sometimes,thematter,thehusbandhittinghaswelf,oftenhappened”，應(yīng)改為“Thecasethathusbandhitshiswifeoftenhappens.”

（4）拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤很多，大部分句子均有錯(cuò)誤